If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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