You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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