My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
