Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
