Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
