She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
