your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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