dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You've changed since you got that strap on
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
