mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
