I've blown a few things in my day
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
