I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
