doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
