38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
