I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
