I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
