im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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