How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
