He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
