Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
