Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
