my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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