I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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