Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hello my rib-scented angel!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
