1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
