everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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