you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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