If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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