Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
