Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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