Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
