You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
false alarm, still single
Randomize
