I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
