There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
