Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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