Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
