pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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