I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
