I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
