Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
