So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
