this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
