one might say we're banned from that church
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
