She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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