There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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