So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
