Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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