therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize