he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
