Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
