Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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