What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize