Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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