i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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