I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize