what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
