I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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