i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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