Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
