You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
