I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize