help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
