i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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