It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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