i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize