They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
