Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
